What kind of parent are you?
A helicopter, hovering overhead? A snowplow, clearing the path ahead? Do you smother them? Overwhelm them? Do you let them drink soda? Why do other kids seem respectful and well-behaved in public but yours like a pack of unkempt hyenas?
Parenting is hard enough on its own. When you start comparing yourself to other parents and other families, it gets even harder. It doesn’t come with a manual. And even if it did, it wouldn’t work. Each kid is so incredibly different from the next, even within the same family. Finding standards or tactics that work brilliantly for one child could mean nothing for the next. So if you’ve been parenting for any amount of time at all, you realize that it’s not about finding one way to do things. It’s about finding your way to do them.
Each family’s culture is different, and that’s going to change the way you parent. Trying to make your family look like someone else’s family by applying the same exact routine, standards, discipline structure, language, and patterns simply doesn’t work.
Parenting ain’t for just anyone. Or at least it shouldn’t be.
You’ve heard the old quip that says, “You need a license to drive a car but not to have a kid.” Usually it’s said after someone who has no business even owning a plant does something either foolish or outright cruel as a parent. Their selfishness, brokenness, or just plain ignorance has demonstrated that they shouldn’t be entrusted with raising kids. And while most of us can look in the mirror and know that we’re doing the best we know how to do as parents, there’s things that we may not realize we're doing that we should take a look at.
What Are You Accidentally Doing?
As parents, we all want to do everything we can to give our kids every possible opportunity. We want to do things better than our parents did them. We want to somehow undo mistakes from the past and see our kids live with freedom and opportunity that we wish we'd seen at their age.
The truth is that we can’t protect them from everything, much less protect them from their testimony. If we do, we could end up protecting them from the ability to develop essential lessons for life. While we want to make certain our kids have all of the tools they need to become strong, resilient adults, there are parenting strategies we often use that can actually hinder our children’s development. We may be working against our kids' ability to develop some critical skills to deal with anxiety, perfectionism, and other difficult emotions.
In just a couple weeks, the next Education in Society session will be held at Liberty Classical Academy. It will focus on resilience from a biological and behavioral perspective. Parents will better understand their children through the lens of brain development and emotional intelligence. They will leave with concrete strategies to develop emotional resilience in their children, and hopefully with some perspective on what their family is doing right and what they can do differently as parents. Find out more here.